Dr. Apt.

So, my doctors apt. was even more frustrating than my hospital escapades. My doctor explained that the mucus was normal due to my cervical cerclage. So, time and money wasted. I then talked to him regarding my fears. He went on a long spiel about how research doesn't really support checking your cervix regularly unless you are bleeding or having preterm labor. He also expressed his belief that bed rest might not really make a difference. So his conclusion is that I should do whatever I feel is necessary. How the heck do I know? I know that Joseph was born at 26 weeks after 6 weeks of not even moving in the hospital. I also know that with Emily I had a cerclage and was on bed rest my whole pregnancy and she was just 3 weeks early. So, what do I do. stay in bed and hope for the best or keep doing what I'm doing and hope that I'm not making things worse. I had a serious anxiety attack and broke down at the store after the apt. I don't' know what to do. I need this baby to be safe. What would you do?

Hospital, Art & Birthday

So, today I woke up with some disturbing mucus plug like discharge. Sorry, but it is what it is. I called my OB because I was worried that my cervix was opening. Another OB was on call and he sent me to the emergency room to let them deal with it. They said that if the OB doesn't know if it's normal how can we? Well, good point! They checked and said it seemed to be closed, but to stay on bed rest for the weekend until I can see my own OB on Monday. I hate being scared all the time that something is going to go wrong. It sucks!! I stayed in bed all day and got out for about 30 minutes to attend Emily's art gallery exhibit. This one on top is called "Rainbow".

"Self Portrait"

"Day at the Beach"

Today was also Emily and Joseph's dad's birthday. I'm sure Christopher would join in too because he considered Josh his dad too, but he was out of town camping with his friend's family. They wanted to celebrate with a cake and letting some balloons go up to heaven for him. They pick this color every time because before he died he told them that his favorite color was the color of throw-up! Lovely!! They never forgot and apparently throw-up is orange in my children's minds. Emily had the bakery write, "Happy Birthday Daddy", on the cake. Some days my heart breaks for my kids, but they seem to handle it in stride. I know Josh is watching from heaven with a big smile so proud of his babies!

Beautiful Spring Break

It is spring break and my kids are a little disheartened by the weather, but I LOVE it! It is still going strong and the flakes are getting HUGE! I hope we don't go straight to HOT summer. I hope we get a little spring weather before it gets hot, but it could snow all year and I'd be happy. Maybe I should live in Alaska. I do love it there!

Insulin

So, my doctor put me on insulin today. He is letting me do it outpatient because my mom will be with me 24 hours a day. The suckiest part is that he told me until I was stable I could not go out of town. I was supposed to leave for Idaho on Thursday for my best friend's son's baptism. I will miss it. My kids are really upset and so am I, but the baby needs me to take care of myself. On a happier note, my ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby is set for May 11th. Just one day after Mother's Day! I can't wait. I am doing a poll until then on what your guess is. So don't forget to vote!

Easter

Joseph & Emily dying eggs .

(not together because of too much fighting over the wax crayon)

Joseph & Emily helped my mom make this bunny cake!

My kiddos before church

Christine, Andrew, and Kawehi came over for dinner.

Christopher singing us some songs he wrote.

The day before Easter the kids went on an egg hunt at the rec center. It was raining so Emily found a garbage bag in the car and made herself a poncho. Joseph and his friend pretended not to know her. They also got to see the honey baked ham bee and get me a coupon for our yummy dinner. They got tons of candy and Joseph won three raffle prizes. He's such a lucky bugger!

Cerclage

So, yesterday I had my dreaded surgery. I was supposed to be put under general, but they decided last minute that I only needed a spinal. Good for recovery, but scary. I laid there awake the whole time all exposed and in stirrups. Kinda nerve racking. My last cerclage 10 years ago, (a stitch put in your cervix to hold the baby in), was similar. This doctor put in 3 stitches instead of 1. He said that me cervix was ALREADY OPEN!!! Scary!!!! Even with the stitch I had to be on bed rest a great deal during my last pregnancy because my cervix started to open. I wonder if 3 stitches will help me avoid bed rest and hold this baby in. I also had a little tumor cut off and stitched up in my groin area. It hurts pretty bad to sit, since it is right on the stitches. Didn't want to, but have needed to take the pain meds. I go back Monday for my re-check! Dennis got to see the baby moving all around in a little ultrasound at the hospital. You could tell he liked seeing the baby. He never got to see his other ones before they were born, so this is pretty special. My awesome friend Teri brought me over dinner last night! Thank you so much Teri!!! I ate WAY too much garlic bread, yum! I haven't called yet because I was in pain or sleeping all last night and I suppose that is why I am wide awake at 4 a.m. I love and appreciate all you do for me. So, the stitches are in, I'm in my second trimester, and the baby looks good. Now I just need to hold this baby in for a while. Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes. This baby is going to be so loved by so many!!