Sunday, July 31, 2011
I Have Diabetes
Twelve years ago when I was pregnant with Emily, I got Gestational Diabetes. It usually goes away once you give birth. Mine did not. I have had diabetes for 12 years and live like I don't. When I first got it, I did pretty good. Over the past several years, especially since Sarah died, I have been ignoring it. I don't know why. I guess I have suffered so much depression that I can barely take care of others, let alone myself. I have totally forgotten myself. I refuse to look in mirrors. I want to be invisible. I eat whatever I want which is what makes me happy and what makes me miserable. I guess I don't value myself too much. Since I feel like such a fat loser I don't do anything for myself. I don't even use my nice body wash because I don't feel like I am worth it where I am at. It is so hard taking care of me and feeling worth it. My blood sugar has gotten so out of control that I am killing myself. Literally, killing myself. My sugar was so high that I thought if I took extra medication it would bring my sugar down. I was wrong. It made me so sick that I had to go to the hospital yesterday. The nurse helping me has Diabetes and works for the Diabetes Endocrinology Center. I can tell you without a doubt that she was sent by Heavenly Father to chastise me. First of all, I never go to AF Hospital, but felt this time I should go there. She chastised me in the most loving, yet firm way. I sobbed and felt so loved. I finally feel the seriousness of what is happening to me and feel the need to make myself a priority. My children need me and I am letting them down. I need to overcome this depression and be the best me I can. I have diabetes and I am going to live like I do. I can't keep hiding. I need to find my value and maybe even use some fancy body wash today. You never know.
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7 comments:
I'm so sorry, Mindy. I wish I had the words to make you feel better about yourself. I completely adore you and think you are amazingly beautiful...both inside and out! You do need to take care of you. So many people need you...even Sarah needs you to do that for her brothers and sister and her dad. Use the body wash & pamper yourself! You do deserve it...and so much more!! Love, love, love you!!
Oh Mindy. Living with diabetes would be such a challenge. Maybe looking at it like a blessing though will help. (I do, with some of my personal health issues) Because this way it can motivate you to take care of yourself. We all need wake up calls here and there and I love you and will support you 100%. Let me know if you need any help. I LOVE YOU! You are amazing and it the messages you left me after my mother-in-laws passing were appreciated and always remembered. You are a great friend!
My sweet friend. I wish you could see yourself like I see you. You are so amazing. I couldn't ask for a better example of kindness and loving acceptance of others. I love you tons!!!!!!!!
Stop it!!! You are beautiful and you deserve that body wash and whatever else you're denying yourself!! It's so easy to forget your worth. Be healthy and live the life you deserve!! Watch this and listen to it over and over until you believe it. (((BIG HUGS)))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orc4TuIO56s
Use that fancy bodywash!
You do deserve it!
Can't wait to see you.
I hope you don't mind but I have found this website that might help you with your diabetes. I only skimmed over it and it looks pretty interesting.
http://wellnessmama.com/1440/how-to-reverse-diabetes-naturally-are-you-at-risk/
My mom was diagnosed with diabetes but no longer suffers from it like she used to. She reversed her diabetes naturally, but not with the above websites system. She had to because the diabetes meds the dr.s gave her had a side effect of high blood pressure. So the doc's then prescribed her high blood meds. Which then gave her another adverse side effect! My mom did not like popping pills running her life as well not making her feel any better, so she changed her diet, exercise, and lifestyle.
Good luck with it all. I have a lot of family members that suffer from diabetes. It is tough stuff. Call me if you have any questions or just wanna discuss the article or anything like that! Take Care!
This post made me cry. I am so upset seeing those harsh words about the friend I love so much. I wish I could take away your pain and make you feel well.
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